The battery has almost run out on my laptop.  I cannot be bothered to get the power cable.  I MUST WRITE THIS EMAIL BEFORE THE POWER RUNS OUT.  It’s the plot to series forty six of 24, budgets vastly cut.

Last email I sent was February 18th, here’s what’s happened since then, in order of magnitude:

• NEW SINGLE SPIN OFF RELEASED!  It’s an epic, no doubt, it’s the sort of song that makes the entire cast of the Gossip Girl et al spontaneously combust in a purple flame of eroticism whilst the ghost of L. Ron Hubbard performs an impromptu cover of Scatman but without using any vowels.
• Bear At The Bus Stop soundtracking the ace iPhone game Rollover Rover.  I’d buy it right now if I were you, or are you the sort of short sighted, petty parasite that voted no to the alternative vote system in some sort of misguided Lib Dem revenge?
• Novelty Music Scene remix of Neon Blink opening track on Electro House Essentials Volume 07 compilation.
• Hail! Perestroika remix of Neon Blink on Sunset 2 Sunrise Volume 09.
• Remix of the Glass Diamond track “Boys And Girls Come Out To Play” makes people want to reconstruct Clitheroe at a 300:1 ratio out of reconstituted used 3D glasses from raunchy cinemas.
• Gig mentioned at the bottom of the email being filmed and streamed live online, come along as it’s on a Saturday daytime and you need us in your life.
• Luke being interviewed on Banana Peel radio.

I Love Music Filmed Show (Neon Highwire, The Fuse, History Of The Trade)

Cafe 1001, 1 Dray Walk, 91 Brick Lane, London, E1 6QL

Facebook; Last.FM

Blah blah blah give a sh*t,

Steve.

http://www.neonhighwire.com

http://www.myspace.com/neonhighwire

http://www.facebook.com/neonhighwire

http://twitter.com/neonhighwire

http://last.fm/music/neon+highwire

TONIGHT!

LONDON!

20:00!

VIBE BAR!

91-95 BRICK LANE!

E1 6QL!

FREE ENTRY!

ABSOLUTE RADIO GIG OF THE WEEK!

IGNUG!

CASSETTE CLUB!

NEON HIGHWIRE!

Why do musicians so frequently feel the need to exercise bad grammar?  it jsut makes them look like idiots lol

ALSO

Gig of the Day on Amazing Radio

For Christ’s sake just come, is it?  Link: http://amazingtunes.com/users/neonhighwire

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=165182833517055

Last.fm: http://bit.ly/hKfZNX

Kim Jong Il Looking At Things

We made a new song dedicated to the website Kim Jong Il Looking At Things with the same name.  It was adopted by the site as their “national anthem” and featured in the B3ta newsletter which was nice of everyone.  Nice like.  Listen here: http://soundcloud.com/neonhighwire/kim-jong-il-looking-at-things.

Band of the month on Little House TV

If you’re on a student network (recent change, most annoying) you can see us on Little House here: http://littlehousetv.com/.  Last I saw it had us playing Under Moonlight at the end of the show, but as I’m not a student I don’t know what’s there anymore.  Let me know if it’s changed students.  You now have a purpose.

TwoGroove Band Feature

TwoGroove wrote some nice things about us in addition to the interview we did with them.  Don’t take my word for it though, click here: http://bit.ly/ex0qiq

Hail! Perestroika remix of Fantasy Land (Christmas In The TerrorZone)

Part of a giveaway for Never Enough Notes‘s advent calendar last December.  This remix is a giant amongst men (and women).  HULK SMASH!  Me real mashed potatoes.  Link: http://bit.ly/eb2boU

List of End of Year Lists

Here is a list of the lists:

Steve’s albums of 2010

Jim’s albums of 2010

Luke’s albums of 2010

Steve’s tracks of 2010

Jim’s tracks of 2010

Luke’s tracks of 2010

Like Pokemon, buy them all.

Longe Magazine Feature

Some sh*t magazine copied and pasted our biography into some business magazine cuz WE IS SRS BNS!  Link: http://bit.ly/neonlonge

And now the weather,

Steve.

http://www.neonhighwire.com

It’s been a while.  Maybe too long, or potentially too soon even.  Who knows?  You’re a load of people and I am one.  I know you’re busy, you don’t have time for rambling preambles (or brambles), so I’m gonna give you executive types some bullet point love so you know what is what within the Neon Highwire stratosphere with MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY.  So without further ado, here is a poem (limerick) dedicated to a kitten:

Mittens, you were cute and furry.

Mittens, with your wrath and fury.

My arm is still bleeding.

You had to stop breathing.

Mittens, you tasted great in curry.

And now that mortifying tale is out of the way, here are those bullet points, and by that I mean three words that rhyme with ORANGE:

DERRANGE

SYRINGE

RICHARD GERE

Seriously though, I know you’re busy, busy like Jason Statham in that film Crank which I haven’t seen, but think has the most ridiculously wonderful concept and wish I could have been there in the original pitch meeting.  “No, nothing like Speed“.

• Official Video for our recent single Bear At The Bus Stop.
• We’re playing at Powers on Nov 19th & 229 on Dec 1st.
• An interview with Live Taurus.
• An interview with Vents Magazine.
• An interview for a magazine that was rejected for being too offensive.
• Live video of us playing Neon Blink at Never Enough First Birthdays.
• We didn’t play 6Fest.
• We did play Scala.
• I met the head of the BPI and am now probably on a list.
• Luke and I made an awful video.
• I recorded cheesy vocals over a Mogwai song because I was bored.
• I promise not to read from my diary in public again.
• I disappeared for a week.

I could elaborate on all of those things, but that’s what the website is for and never let me be known as someone who says things twice.  I will not gain the reputation as someone who says things twice.

Today’s Neon Highwire fan picked at random from Facebook to receive a free copy of our debut EP Luminescence is…

Steven Morgan.

Congratulations Steven, to claim your prize just send us an email with your address so we can get that to you in the post.  Hang on a secind!

Meatwad!  The upcoming shows!  Stat!

Friday 19th November 2010

No Fiction (Neon Highwire, Hectors Fanclub)

Powers, 332 Kilburn High Road, London, NW6 2QN

Facebook; Last.FM

Wednesday 1st December 2010

229 Electro Night (Neon Highwire, Glass Diamond, ElectriXcity, DJ Engine-Earz)

229, 229 Great Portland Street, London, W1W 5PN

Facebook; Last.FM

Maybe not wise, but heartbreakingly true,

Steve.

Have you heard of Dragonette?  They are to dragons what A-Z is to Alphabs.  That’s right, they’re mucho goodo, unlike Coco Jamboo.

This Saturday, the first and only Saturday of the August bank holiday weekend, they will be playing a one-off London date at 93 Feet East on Brick Lane and (not-so coincidentally) so will we.  By we I mean Neon Highwire, not we as in urea.  That would require two e’s and when it comes to spelling I do not bluff.  Hey!  It’s Sergeant BulletPoints, everyone’s favourite military entity!

• This Saturday.
• 93 Feet East, London.
• Playing live.
• Buy tickets beforehand here: http://www.theplayground.co.uk/ticket/events.php?artist=DRAGONETTE
• You can probably turn up on the night and buy tickets on the door.  Remember to say to the robot on the door that you’re there to see us.
• Dancing.
• Two rooms.
• No Coco Jamboo.
• I’ve got a sore throat

By the way, you just lost the game.

If those bullet points are too intense for you, then you can learn betterer by watching this video involving talking bears.

Other than that, we’re hard at work on our next EP which may (won’t) feature songs with titles like

• Chris; Not Chris
• Sleepy Weasel
• Tear Along The Dotted Lime (Fruiticide)
• There’s No U In Coldharbour (Oh Wait)
• Glorious Victorious
• ID’d at 54

I’m sure there’s other stuff to mention too, but I’ve got a really sore throat, like one of those ones where every swallow hurts.  I tried to get an early night last night too, but alas I kept waking up with throat pain.  There’s more remixes and stuff like that at http://www.myspace.com/neonrewire.  We did a revamp of the Myspace page as Myspace changed everything, though by we I mean Luke did.

Here’s the upcoming gig list and associated links.

Saturday 28th August 2010

The Playground (Dragonette, Hooligan Night, Strangefruit, Dark Like Snow, Neon Highwire, Cinnamon Antics…)

93 Feet East, 150 Brick Lane, London, E1 6QL

Tickets; Facebook; Last.FM

Friday 24th September 2010

Never Enough Notes Birthday (Fake Teak, Hot Beds, Neon Highwire)

The Camden Head, 2 Camden Walk, London, N1 8DY

Facebook; Last.FM

A minute without you by my side is a minute wasted,

Steve.

http://www.neonhighwire.com

http://www.myspace.com/neonhighwire

http://www.facebook.com/neonhighwire

http://twitter.com/neonhighwire

http://last.fm/music/neon+highwire

—

Read this online here.

To unsubscribe from this mailing list, send an email to unsubscribe@neonhighwire.com with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.

Borlls borlls borlls, footy footy footy.  Seriously, though, innit.  Yeah.  Week today.  We’re playing in London again.  Obviously I reckon it’ll be great, but it’s fairly obvious that my opinion is biased so I’ll leave it to famous stong–man Geoff Capes to give you a more authoritative opinion:

Geoff CAPS: “what/ Yeah alright, whatever Steven Morgan says is ture.  You gonna buy a Bigg Ishoo orwo’?”

Tell you what, here’s another Neon Blink remix for you to potentially enjoy: http://soundcloud.com/neonhighwire/neon-blink-inspiring-house-mix.  It’s also on http://www.myspace.com/neonrewire, but Myspace is sh%tontoast so what-the-unicorn-ever?  Yeah, you know, more remixes innit?  Like someone takes those source files and makes something new out of it.  Not like that, in fact, but actually that.  That’s what a remix is, see.  One thing though, and honestly, this is so exciting that I almost wanna create an animated flaming gif for its wonderfulness…

The forthcoming Novelty Music Scene remix of Neon Blink is so good that on first listen, I bit down on my teeth so hard I chipped a tooth.  It’s a small chip, but it’s amazing how weird it feels whilst your mouth aclimbatises to your new bite.  Hopefully you’ll enjoy it without this mouth based metamorphosis, but I’m gonna totally admit, it was worth it.  Honestly, keep your eyes open for that shizzle any day now, you’ll thank me.

So, if you want cheap entry on the gig next Saturday get in touch.  If you bag that shit early, you can LITERALLY get half price entry.  I’m gonna admit, I find that exciting.  If you don’t, then you evidently don’t have hernia inducing money problems and you can buy me drinks all night that night AND EVERY NI@GHT==; YOU CRUNT.  I’m looking at you, champagne boy.  Yes.

Other than that, Neon Blink is going to figure on another mountain biking video somewhere, I don’t quite get the association, but I ain’t arguing like innit like like.  That’s so vague I might as well have not even written it, but to be honest, these emails aren’t exactly concise or informative, so why change that?  I enjoy the hatemail YOU PRCK, YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE, CM SAY HAAI!

This part is more important than the rest of it combined:

Saturday 17th July 2010

Andy Quirk’s Hits Of The Near Future (Hot Beds, Remodel, Neon Highwire & Well In Garden Settee)

The Workshop, under Roadtrip Bar, 243 Old Street, London, EC1V 9EY

Facebook; Last.FM

Saturday 7th August 2010

Here Comes The Sun (Neon Highwire & Ben Marwood & UpCDownC & The Heartwear Process…)

The Rising Sun Arts Centre, 30 Silverstreet, Reading, Berkshire, RG1 2ST

Facebook; Last.FM

Friday 24th September 2010

Never Enough Notes Birthday (Hot Beds, Neon Highwire & TBC)

It’s a shame that application took so long, I’ll admit I’m gutted, but fingers crossed it works out for you,

Steve

Neon Blink (inspiring house mix) by NeonHighwire

Guess the origin of the lyrics (artist and song please, bonus point if you can guess my favourite item of clothing whilst listening to each of them):

“You’ve never been to Alton Towers, Michael Caine doesn’t follow you and you’ve never been to Spain”.

“You and I have to get out of Stephan’s way”.

“My dealer drives a three wheeler, lives in a house by the side of the sea”.

“I guess I sort of lied when I said it’s not that bad. That fly, that helicopter, that red and white van”.

“I want to be colonically irrigated, so I know how it feels not to be full of sh*t”.

WHATEVER STEVE, GET ON WITH IT.

Big Chill

We’re playing at The Big Chill House on June 17th.  It’s gonna be incredible, we’re on last so a longer set than usual which will be nice, though tiring.  I’ve never been to the Big Chill festival, but is it just me who’s all like “Big Chill? Why the hell would I go to a festival to chill?  What am I, some sort of c-?”.  So yeah, we’ll be bringing our lounge-core to the Kings Cross area and hopefully I’ll have the surgery to shoot lasers out of my knuckles complete by then too.  It’s got free entry, so come along you dummy!  For your health.

Bear At The Bus Stop

New song from us which you can hear here.  It’s short, it’s instrumental and it embraces triplets much like this sentence.  Feedback so far has ranged from “I like that it’s instrumental” to “Is it finished or ongoing?”.  With feedback like that, how can you resist?

Video

We made a video to educate you again.  No need to thank us, we’re martyrs and will just moan about you not thanking us behind your backs.  TYPICAL.  Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5tJi0XGOdY

Twitterview

Never Enough Notes asked us questions, we gave them answers.  That’s how interviews work yeah?  Difference here is that it was through Twitter.  It’s like the future today.  386 baby, 386.  Here it is.

Remixes

As part of the upcoming Neon Blink release on Blue Dove Records, there’ve been a load of Neon Blink remixes and there are more to come.  Take a listen to some because they’re great.  Don’t take a listen to them if you eat your own farts.  You don’t eat your own farts, do you?  Oh man, if people knew you ate your own farts, you wouldn’t get invited to that thing you’re really excited about going to.  Think about it.  Just listen.

• Pimp Daddies of NoHo remix
• Sizeable Moth Hat remix
• Hail! Perestroika remix

Others

• Under Moonlight features on a Syllabus Music compilation.
• On Westside Will‘s US radio show
• Rough mix of a collaboration with Skyline Dossier that’s been abandoned, take a listen if you’re perverted.
• Playing a one day festival in Reading in August.
• Playing a special show early September, special as in sauce, not school.
• Two more songs almost finished recording.

Greggs.  I mean gigs:

Thursday 17th June 2010

THE PLAYGROUND (Neon Highwire, The Goos, The Gavels, The Black Sands, Mercers)

The Big Chill House, 257-259 Pentonville Road, London, N1 9NL

Facebook; Last.FM

Saturday 7th August 2010

Here Comes The Sun (Neon Highwire & tbc)

Steve.

The fact you’re reading this means there’s a good chance you like our music.  Either that or you’ve met us and harbour a crush on Jim that you’re working up your courage to realise or find us so arrogant, annoying, derivative and disposable that you end up spying on us in an angry voyeuristic way hoping to see the cracks, hoping to see things tumbling down just to feel a little better.

None of that matters, whichever is true, you’re reading this, so I win by default.

Here’s what you should do.  Got a Twitter account?  Follow us.  Got a Facebook account?  Become a fan.  Got a Myspace Page?  Be our friend.  Got an email address?  Join our mailing list.

Got other friends with decent taste in music?  Improve their lives, tell them about us.  Think you’re wasting your life watching shitty TV or spending way too much time at the same pub with the same person / people?  Come watch us live.  Think your remixing skills are laudable?  Email us.  Any other ideas of projects relating to the band?  Let us know, we’ll talk it over.

Of course, alternatively you could do none of these things.  If you do though, you get +10 life points for each.  Just imagine!

Oh yeah, and don’t forget to listen to our new track Bear At The Bus Stop on Soundcloud.  It’ll raise the temperature of your metaphorical testicles.

“Look Johnny, sometimes people’s gonna try and tell you what you should do.  You don’t have to follow that advice Johnny, because sometimes people just don’t know as much as they sound like.  You’ve got to think for yourself Johnny, you’re becoming a man.”

“My name is Wilfred.”

That’s right everyone, today is national faux-pas day 2011!  Bypass those awkward situations by pre-empting them and embracing them like a long lost sister you didn’t realise was related to you.

Before I go any further, I’m going to fact you in the sass.

1. THE ENVIRONMENT

Heal the world.  Make it a better place for you and for me and the entire human race.  There are people dying.  If you care enough for the living make a better place for you and for me.

1. THE ELECTION

Some of the more hirsute of you may have noticed that there’s an election imminent (yo).  That’s right.  It’s almost time to vote for your favourite member of Neon Highwire so we can change the name of the band to “<Victorious Person X> And The Neon Highwires”.  Early polls suggest that it’s going to be a runaway victory with the good looking one way ahead, but with the immoral, underhand tactics of the other two, it’s still all to play for!  This vote (with musical accompaniment) will take place at Vibe Bar on the evening of Thursday 6th May.  That’s a week tomorrow!  ZOMG!  You should come, it’s gonna be great.  Oh and it’s the day of the general election too.

1. THE REMIXES

As we’ve mentioned, Neon Blink is being released as a single through Blue Dove Records.  There’s gonna be a heap of brilliant remixes on the b-sides which will be making their way for sneak peaks at our Neon Rewire Myspace page (starting with Fresh:Mesh‘s beast of a remix).  Details on release dates, formats, track listing and the launch party in THE FUTURE.

1. NEW MATERIAL

Still working on it, be patient.  Those who’ve been lucky enough to hear it so far have said “…it’s better than I thought it’d be, I thought it’d be really bad.  Can I please phone my family now to let them know I’m safe?” shortly before they went missing, never to be heard of again in an entirely unrelated incident.

Without further ado, I think of your mother dancing when I cry as it’s the only way I can get to sleep.  With your dad. (Remember what day it is people!), here is the list of upcoming shows:

Thursday 6th May 2010

Election Special (Tina Mali, Neon Highwire)

Vibe Bar, Old Truman Brewery, 91-95 Brick Lane, London, E1 6QL

Facebook; Last.FM

Saturday 29th May 2010

Captain Zapi’s Rollin’ Revue (Neon Highwire & BODYMACHINE!)

The Aquarium, Old Street, Shoreditch, United Kingdom, EC1V 9DD

Facebook; Last.FM

I still can’t believe I didn’t get any fudge.  I LOVE fudge.  I go into fudge kitchen and pretend I’m gonna buy stuff every time I walk past.  To say I’m devastated is an understatement.  I only forgive you because you’re so incrediblely awesome.

Steve.

Wooooooooord.

Sorry to email you so soon after the last one, but this is more important than Norway.

There’s been a change to our London show tomorrow night.  It’s no longer at 93 Feet East, but at Catch, 22 Kingsland Road, Shoreditch, London, E2 8DA instead.

Double Rainbow pulled out for no apparent reason then Artefacts For Space Travel pulled out for personal reasons, then the promoter pulled out for financial reasons.  If you bought a ticket, you can contact wegottickets to get a full refund.  Big apologies for this, but I assure you it was totally out of our control.  Thanks to the cooler than cool guys at !Forwardslashmusic! though, we’re now on the bill for their new night at Shoreditch venue Catch instead (only up the road from 93 Feet East) with Reachback and The Amberblacks.  We’ll be on stage just before 22:00, but will be milling about the whole evening so come say HELLO.

Spread the woooooooooooord.

Wooooooooooooord.

Steve.

Skip This Bit If You Have No Soul

Man, my song titles are so awesome.  It’s like I just think of this shizzle all the time, like I’m made of magic haribo or something.  The way I see it, we should write our album around the following list of song names.  I’ve done the hard work coming up with this list, the other two can do all the recording and I’ll sit at the side and criticise.  ”YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG JIM!  DO IT AGAIN BUT WITH MORE GOOD.”

1. Sidechaining Your Sox Groans To My Station Exx

2. I Don’t Think You Should Have Done That, Reginald (Part II)

3. I Don’t Think You Should Have Done That, Reginald (Part IV)

4. ^ Scat

5. I Didn’t Want Your Stupid Chair Anyway

6. Aerosmith On The Bus

7. I Only Like People Who Laugh At My Jokes

8. Whatever, I’ve Read Books

9. Yeah Politics Man Yeah F**k The Government Man And Stuff (Chair’s Lament)

10. Turned Out It Wasn’t Aerosmith

11. Conversations I Thought I Had But Turned Out To Have Dreamt That They Happened

12. Aerosmith On The Bus (Reprise)

If you’ve got ideas for the title of this future Mercury Music Prize winning affair, click here and add it as a comment.  I’ll send the writer of the best one a copy of our EP.

Leave your house and have a good time

We’re playing 93 Feet East a week Wednesday, as you know.  You don’t need me to tell you it’s gonna be awesome, and we’re playing new material too, so you’ll be all like “Wow, I think this is new material” and you will be right.  A week Friday we’re then heading to Brighton to play at The Hope, so tell everyone you know who lives near Brighton and isn’t a total pillock.  Other than that, we’re confirming a festival appearance in April, a launch party for the Luminescence EP despite the fact that it’s out already and gig + swimming pool in May.

Stuff redux

Bullet points are 2010.

• Our music is to be playlisted in a chain of 200 fashion stores in Italy.
• Luminescence reviews in Rock Sound, RebelRiffs, Subba Cultcha, Easy Music For Difficult Ears & Daily Dischord.  People be loving that shahoozy.
• Neon Blink to be used as theme for currently untitled new Finnish TV program.
• Neon Blink to be released as single on Blue Dove Records with a plethora of sensual remixes on the b-sides.  Release date etc. TBC. FTW.
• Neon Blink used in some mountain biking video.  You are still fat.
• Timetravelling Luminescence launch party currently being finalised.  Shrimp & white wine.

Best bit

Wednesday 17th March 2010

Glasswerk (Artefacts For Space Travel & Neon Highwire & Sir Yes Sir & Double Rainbow)

93 Feet East, 150 Brick Lane, London, E1 6QL

Facebook; Last.FM; Tickets

Friday 19th March 2010

Synthetiquette (The Kleptones, Neon Highwire & Officer 82)

The Hope, 10-12 Queens Road, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 3WA

Facebook; Last.FM

Saturday 29th May 2010

Captain Zapi’s Rollin’ Revue (Neon Highwire & TBC)

The Aquarium, Old Street, Shoreditch, United Kingdom, EC1V 9DD

Facebook; Last.FM

If you’re reading this line and think it’s about you, then it’s about you,

Steve.

http://www.neonhighwire.com

http://www.myspace.com/neonhighwire

http://www.facebook.com/neonhighwire

http://twitter.com/neonhighwire

http://last.fm/music/neon+highwire