Thanks to all who came down Friday to our show at The Purple Turtle in Camden.  A Fat White Family (feat. ex members of The Metros) did all they could to get into the gossip pages of the NME, but alas, their alleged flacid masturbating on stage and fighting with bouncers wasn’t enough to gain that coveted space.  The revolution will not be televised.  It’ll be on Youtube:

This is how we roll:

What the hell is up with that?  What, just because we haven’t made a film? Jesus effing christ, do I look like a bag of twats?  Because they’re talking to me like I’m a bag of twats.

Anyway, in order to cleanse ourselves of the shun of the ILUMINAZIs which control the internets (thanks David Micke), we are instead playing a show with so much awesome piled with so much awesome that there is no room left for ham.  In fact, if the awesome were stacked up like in a game of Tetris, then it would all disappear as the row would be full.  Full of awesome.

You may still be wondering if this is something you want to become part of your life (like a pint of idiot), so to give you a balanced view on whether or not you should do this, here are a list of pros and cons.

Pros:

Friday night baby!

Neon Highwire baby!

Is Tropical & Black Daniel baby!

Close to the tube baby!

They have a bar baby!

Special guests baby!

Cons:

Justin Bieber could technically attend in theory.

Anyway, here are the cold hard facts:

Date: Friday 27th January 2012.

Location: Purple Turtle, 65 Crowndale Road, London, NW1 1TN.

Nearest Tube: Mornington Crescent (Northern Line).

Opening Hours: 20:00 – 04:00.

Price: £4 advance, £5 on the door with a flyer.

Lineup: Is Tropical (DJ), Fugue B2b Bogart, Black Daniel, A Fat White Family, Neon Highwire, Bow Mods, Ozonna, The Mannakings, You Me And The Moon

Some lovely words about our last show from Never Enough Notes online HERE.

Moustache Flash was a smash, our thanks to everyone who came down, some photos will be making their way onlines soon thanks to some snapperoo work by the frankly awesome Katharine Collins who is better at arm wrestling than both Jim Dippie & Steven Morgan (scientific proof available), though at time of writing, I’m not sure if a Lukebattle has occurred.

A drum

A drum

A drum

Another drum

The bass

The bass

The bass

Fucking neighbours.

Wrote another poem for y’all, that one took even less time than the last.  NEW PB!

Been seeing all the ruckus about Moustache Flash and wondering “But is this for me? I need to know more about El Crazilibre aka Darren Keen”.  WELL WANT NO MORE, MY FRIEND, FOR HERE IS AN INTERVIEW I DID WITH DARREN!  More hot links than spiked drinks.

I’m good to you people, TOO good you could almost say, but you don’t cos you loves it rough.  Much like Brian Clough, but unlike Hilary Duff.

Before before there was before

And before that we’re not so sure

When folk talked about days of yore

And we didn’t know about Al Gore

Mother mother, gentle mother

Art thou so different from the other

A light so bright you run to cover

More wrong than Die Hard without Danny Glover

That is my poem about Climate chango written over the course of the last twenty six seconds.  That’s deep man, deep till it hurts.

In more jovial news, you can win tickets for our upcoming show with The Show Is The Rainbow which I’ve been banging on about so much lately that I’m starting to get sick of my own voice, but if you aren’t there then you are LITERALLY DEAD TO ME LITERALLY (yes, that is a threat on the lives of the majority of the world’s population*).

So let me help you live.

1. CLICK ON ANY FUCKING WORD IN THIS SENTENCE AS IT’S ONE BIG LINKY LINK LINKERSON.

2. FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS TO WIN TICKETS TO THE SHOW ON POPULAR MUSIC AND MOUSTACHE WEBSITE NEVER ENOUGH NOTES.

3. BUY TICKETS ANYWAY COS YOU PROBABLY WON’T WIN, YOU UNFORTUNATE TROLL.

*In case some psycho reads this, I am not really going to kill everyone or anyone UNLESS IT’S WITH KINDNESS, THEN I WILL BLUDGEON THEIR FACE IN WITH IT.

Want a video? Here, have one in your face. Buy tickets now, you utter twat! Hmm, my freestyle skills are to be desired.

Yeah they are.

Here’s a bonus picture for the road (not of the road).

Check out this news story on the upcoming The Show Is The Rainbow show at Roadtrip with us.  Buy tickets here.  Facebook in your face here.

Check out the fact that Spin Off & Kim Jong Il Looking At Things are now on Spotify.

This picture always makes me laugh:

Some said it couldn’t be done.

Some said I was crazy to even consider it a possibility.

To those people I said no.

I will ride a Segway.

In other “news”, due to a chance alignment of “The Moon” and “Uranus”, I somehow managed to convince the incredible Darren Keen to pop by London as part of his 10 month tour as The Show Is The Rainbow on Wednesday September 14^th.

Here’s some liquid* (*not actually liquid) excitement for you:

Video for Don’t Vote filmed in one take for Love Drunk.

Introductory Spotify playlist

Also on the bill are us (natch), the intense live show of Elephant 12 (tipped for big things) and the sassy Hot Beds.

Not just that, also during the night:

TEST YOUR STRENGTH at the El Tablo Arm Wrestlo!

RISK YOUR LIFE at the Top Trump Deathmatch!

CURE INCURABLE DISEASES with finely groomed moustaches!

MUSCLE beach!

Some other stuff’s happened since the last mail too, like an interview video with us going online, a stream of a disasterous live show of ours going on line (not our fault, I promise!), Skope magazine featuring our BATBS video and Steve dancing, but this is far too exciting for any of that to get any more than a paragraph in this mail.

STOP READING AND BUY TICKETS NOW USING THIS INTERNET LINK ON THE INTERNET!  JUST CLICK ON THESE GIANT WORDS TO GO TO THERE! THAT’S HOW THE INTERNET WORKS!

Here it is again, in case you are scan reading this email and there’s a chance you miss it.  “I will not let that happen or my name isn’t Ian Beale.” – Ian Beale.

Wednesday 14th October 2011 (19:30)

Moustache Flash (The Show Is The Rainbow, Neon Highwire, Elephant 12, Hot Beds)

The Workshop at Roadtrip, 243 Old Street, London, EC1V 9EY

Tickets; Facebook; Last.fm

Did you read the part about the gig?  If not, START AGAIN!

Steve.

Thanks to everyone who came to Cafe 1001 last night to watch us being filmed eating apples, drinking port, dancing suggestively with a balloon sword and attempting to play the new material we’ve written.  Unfortunately a series of unfortunate events made it an… Interesting show!  With a two hour delay to the start due to problems with the venue’s equipment, it didn’t bode well, but add to that Jim’s effects board ceasing to work mere hours after it was behaving perfectly, problems with Luke’s amp and no monitor sounds meaning we could barely work out which song we were supposed to be playing, and once again the world of live instrumentation has one up on us!

Alas, these things happen, and we’d just like to say sorry to all those in attendance, we always want to give everything to our live shows, so we’re as disappointed as yourselves when we’re not able to, but to add to the facepalm… It was all recorded!  Who knows if it’ll even make it to air, but if you fancy yourself a bit of car crash TV, then turn off your Jeremy Kyle and click on this link!