You know where he’s going?  Camden.

You know how he got free entry before 21:00?  He put himself as ATTENDING here: https://www.facebook.com/events/220315564723953/

So just to reiterate:

RIDE with Neon Highwire (live) Broken Jam, Filthy Few & Friends + Stripes Burlesque…!

“A sexy, equestrian vibe full of breathtaking surprises and twists in which you can expect a hotspot for all of London’s music lovers. Including unique live performances, fetish, burlesque, stilt walkers, angle grinders and acrobatics alongside a residency from Filthy Few and celebrity-filled guest DJ’s, you will never fail to be entertained.”
Saturday 11/02/12 19.30 – 02.30

Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Stables Market, Chalk Farm Road, Camden Town, NW1 8AH

£10 if you don’t flag as attending here: https://www.facebook.com/events/220315564723953.

Some things that have come up lately:

• You can hear Bear At The Bus Stop on the podcast Capt Jelly Bean & His Wacky Astro Pals.  No idea which episode though, but recent.  Recent, yes.
• Neon Blink used on some Rockstar Wrestling vids.  Seemed only a matter of time before that collaboration happened in some form.
• An Xmas remix of our track FantasyLand by Novelty Music Scene which you can listen to here: http://soundcloud.com/noveltymusicscene/terrorzone-novelty
• Our ten fav albums of 2011 and our ten fav songs of 2011.
• A Fat White Family (name of a band) are a bunch of tossers who stole a keyboard stand and a guitar strap from us.  If you ever see them on a bill, please go ahead and glass them in the face*.
• Loads of stuff I wrote on http://www.neonhighwire.com.

If you don’t wanna flag yourself as attending on Facebook, send us an email to email@neonhighwire.com and we’ll get you added to the free entry list.  That’s right, you’ve got options.

Here it is on last.fm too: http://www.last.fm/event/3159018+Ride

Steve.

 *Not really, violence is never the answer.  Though it would be nice to get our stuff back

This man may be part of the burlesque troupe.  You have been warned:

What the hell is up with that?  What, just because we haven’t made a film? Jesus effing christ, do I look like a bag of twats?  Because they’re talking to me like I’m a bag of twats.

Anyway, in order to cleanse ourselves of the shun of the ILUMINAZIs which control the internets (thanks David Micke), we are instead playing a show with so much awesome piled with so much awesome that there is no room left for ham.  In fact, if the awesome were stacked up like in a game of Tetris, then it would all disappear as the row would be full.  Full of awesome.

You may still be wondering if this is something you want to become part of your life (like a pint of idiot), so to give you a balanced view on whether or not you should do this, here are a list of pros and cons.

Pros:

Friday night baby!

Neon Highwire baby!

Is Tropical & Black Daniel baby!

Close to the tube baby!

They have a bar baby!

Special guests baby!

Cons:

Justin Bieber could technically attend in theory.

Anyway, here are the cold hard facts:

Date: Friday 27th January 2012.

Location: Purple Turtle, 65 Crowndale Road, London, NW1 1TN.

Nearest Tube: Mornington Crescent (Northern Line).

Opening Hours: 20:00 – 04:00.

Price: £4 advance, £5 on the door with a flyer.

Lineup: Is Tropical (DJ), Fugue B2b Bogart, Black Daniel, A Fat White Family, Neon Highwire, Bow Mods, Ozonna, The Mannakings, You Me And The Moon

A drum

A drum

A drum

Another drum

The bass

The bass

The bass

Fucking neighbours.

Wrote another poem for y’all, that one took even less time than the last.  NEW PB!

Been seeing all the ruckus about Moustache Flash and wondering “But is this for me? I need to know more about El Crazilibre aka Darren Keen”.  WELL WANT NO MORE, MY FRIEND, FOR HERE IS AN INTERVIEW I DID WITH DARREN!  More hot links than spiked drinks.

I’m good to you people, TOO good you could almost say, but you don’t cos you loves it rough.  Much like Brian Clough, but unlike Hilary Duff.

Before before there was before

And before that we’re not so sure

When folk talked about days of yore

And we didn’t know about Al Gore

Mother mother, gentle mother

Art thou so different from the other

A light so bright you run to cover

More wrong than Die Hard without Danny Glover

That is my poem about Climate chango written over the course of the last twenty six seconds.  That’s deep man, deep till it hurts.

In more jovial news, you can win tickets for our upcoming show with The Show Is The Rainbow which I’ve been banging on about so much lately that I’m starting to get sick of my own voice, but if you aren’t there then you are LITERALLY DEAD TO ME LITERALLY (yes, that is a threat on the lives of the majority of the world’s population*).

So let me help you live.

1. CLICK ON ANY FUCKING WORD IN THIS SENTENCE AS IT’S ONE BIG LINKY LINK LINKERSON.

2. FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS TO WIN TICKETS TO THE SHOW ON POPULAR MUSIC AND MOUSTACHE WEBSITE NEVER ENOUGH NOTES.

3. BUY TICKETS ANYWAY COS YOU PROBABLY WON’T WIN, YOU UNFORTUNATE TROLL.

*In case some psycho reads this, I am not really going to kill everyone or anyone UNLESS IT’S WITH KINDNESS, THEN I WILL BLUDGEON THEIR FACE IN WITH IT.

Want a video? Here, have one in your face. Buy tickets now, you utter twat! Hmm, my freestyle skills are to be desired.

Yeah they are.

Here’s a bonus picture for the road (not of the road).

The battery has almost run out on my laptop.  I cannot be bothered to get the power cable.  I MUST WRITE THIS EMAIL BEFORE THE POWER RUNS OUT.  It’s the plot to series forty six of 24, budgets vastly cut.

Last email I sent was February 18th, here’s what’s happened since then, in order of magnitude:

• NEW SINGLE SPIN OFF RELEASED!  It’s an epic, no doubt, it’s the sort of song that makes the entire cast of the Gossip Girl et al spontaneously combust in a purple flame of eroticism whilst the ghost of L. Ron Hubbard performs an impromptu cover of Scatman but without using any vowels.
• Bear At The Bus Stop soundtracking the ace iPhone game Rollover Rover.  I’d buy it right now if I were you, or are you the sort of short sighted, petty parasite that voted no to the alternative vote system in some sort of misguided Lib Dem revenge?
• Novelty Music Scene remix of Neon Blink opening track on Electro House Essentials Volume 07 compilation.
• Hail! Perestroika remix of Neon Blink on Sunset 2 Sunrise Volume 09.
• Remix of the Glass Diamond track “Boys And Girls Come Out To Play” makes people want to reconstruct Clitheroe at a 300:1 ratio out of reconstituted used 3D glasses from raunchy cinemas.
• Gig mentioned at the bottom of the email being filmed and streamed live online, come along as it’s on a Saturday daytime and you need us in your life.
• Luke being interviewed on Banana Peel radio.

I Love Music Filmed Show (Neon Highwire, The Fuse, History Of The Trade)

Cafe 1001, 1 Dray Walk, 91 Brick Lane, London, E1 6QL

Facebook; Last.FM

Blah blah blah give a sh*t,

Steve.

http://www.neonhighwire.com

http://www.myspace.com/neonhighwire

http://www.facebook.com/neonhighwire

http://twitter.com/neonhighwire

http://last.fm/music/neon+highwire

I awoke to the sound of my mobile ringing.  “Amy calling”.  I am tired.  I will get a couple more hours sleep then phone her back.  A few minutes later, BEEP BEEP.  BEEP BEEP.  Ah, answerphone message, simple to reply to, no worries.

Zzzzzz  zzzzz

BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.

Wait a second, I barely get one text a day.  What if all my family have died in a car crash.  Oh my god, all my family are dead and I’m just lying here like a selfish bastard on Lloyd’s floor in Woking after inviting myself around to eat all his curry and drink all his wine.  I checked the phone frantically.  Two messages, one an answerphone message as expected, one from my…  Flatmate?

“Someone called Amy phoned the landline. Said you needed to call her urgently about playing at 229.

Wait, 229?  Isn’t today the day of 6f-

FUCK!

…

“Hi Amy it’s Steve, I didn’t listen to your message but my flatmate told me you rang”

“OMGSTEVECANYOUPLAY6FESTTODAYABANDHAVEPULLEDOUTYOUNEEDTOBETHEREATONEOCLOCKONSTAGEATTHREE”

“SHIT!  I’ll phone the other two and get RIGHT. BACK.”

…

Ring ring.

“LUKE!”

“Hey man, what’s up?” in a just woken up voice.

“SHUTUP!  Oh wait, you’re moving today, aren’t you.”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“We’ve just been asked to fill a cancellation for 6fest!  Oh shit.”

“Oh man, that’s rubbish, we’ve gotta get this sorted today.”

MASSIVE FROWNY FACE

…

Ring ring

“Sorry Amy, Luke’s moving today, we can’t make it.”

“What are you talking about!?  Phone him back, it’s only for three hours!  Sod it, I’ll help him move, just get him to sort it out!”

“Damnit, you’re right!  I’ll phone you back”

…

Ring ring

“Luke, it’s only from one till four, you can fuck off straight after!”

“Oh, in that case then I guess it might be possible”

“PERFECT!  I’ll ring Jim”

…

Ring ring

Ring ring

Ring ring

“Hello, you’ve reached Jim Dippie’s answerph-”

…

Ring ring

Ring ring

Ring ring

“Hello, you’ve reached Jim Dippie’s answerph-”

Damnit Jim!  This isn’t just the usual annoying call from Steve that you can ignore, this is srs bzns!

Much more ringing, pasting on his Facebook wall, getting in contact with his flatmates, looking through old emails to find out where he is later and… HE ANSWERS!

“Steven, why have I got 29 missed calls from you?”

“JIMCANYOUPLAY6FESTAT229TODAYYOUONLYHAVETOBETHEREFROMONETOFOURSAYYESSAYYESSAYYES”

“Steven, I’m in Kent, it’s my brother’s birthday, we’re going for a meal.”

Then it sinks in

“SHIT!”

“Oh, okay Jim, that’s a real shame, I understand it’s your fam- WHAT AM I SAYING, I’LL BUY YOUR BROTHER SOME FLOWERS I DON’T CARE IF HE THINKS I’M A CUNT, ENOUGH PEOPLE DO, BLAME IT ALL ON ME JUST SAY YES.”

“Shit.  Oh, shit.  I just, I’m not, oh man.”

“YES!  Good man Jim, I’ll phone and say yes.”

And I did phone.

And we was too late.  Like The Bishop.

Ah well, let’s go to Neon Noise Project instead.  Hooray!

OMFG!  We are playing at the Playground in just over 2 weeks!  I can’t bloody believe it, CAN YOU?  I hope you’ve got your tickets and dancing mullets at the ready.  Not convinced?  Ask these bears…

Union Square, The O2 Arena, Entertainment Avenue, Greenwich, London, SE10 0DX, 020 8305 4980.  Free entry and £2 a drink till 20:30 which is when we’re going on stage.  Perfect timing!  We’re playing, could be good, could be god awful, this place doesn’t believe in soundchecks apparently.  JOY!  It’s not like we have a convoluted stage set up reknowned for crashing out as a stray limb punts a midi controller across the stage or anything (P.S. we do, but I have resorted to using sarcasm, I know it’s lame).  As the sound is going to be unreliable I will promise to make the show one to remember in other ways.  If I can walk tomorrow, I will have failed.