Once again, I will be reading from one of my personal diaries from years gone by to a room full of strangers.  Once again, there will be no censorship, disclosing my chaotic ramblings with no consideration of the subsequent disgust others may subsequently feel for me.  Once again, I will start a sentence with the words “Once again”.

The last one was recorded for a segment on BBC Radio 4′s Woman’s Hour and is to be featured in an article on the event for the next issue of the French glossy magazine Envy.  Merde.

1. Like.  Jim’s remix is THE BALLS.

2. Tonight’s gig at Roadtrip was fun.

3. Steve was interviewed by BBC News yesterday as part of Conspiracy For Good.

4. Come to this event Monday night where  Steve will be reading from his personal diary from 1997, the peak of his adolescent, hormonal years.

Congratulations to Steve (me, third person) for completing the London Marathon in 3 hours, 46 minutes and 42 seconds as can be seen here.  Thanks also to all those that sponsored and those that came down on the day.

With the general erection looming over us like Burt Reynolds in a cock-shaped bi-plane, we realised that it was time to get political. FEAR NOT: we have not turned into soul destroying, hypocritical fuckwarts like U2 or that hairy one off live aid, but hopefully you may just learn something about the world we live in.
The first video “sustain this” is jam-packed with juicy shizzle to lather you up into a political and panda-shaped frenzy. Why not see for yourself, here:

Click here: http://www.justgiving.com/lasernipples

Give money.

Feel smug.

Celebrate with a tyre fire.

A big thanks to all of you that came along to the gig at Catch last night – it was great fun! So much fun that Steve thought he’d start throwing large wooden cubes around, in fact. Luckily only superficial damage ensued (as well as some long lasting emotional scars) and we are HYPER PUMPED for our show at The Hope in Brighton tomorrow. Bring on the weekend!

Team Neon is off to hit the dancefloors of Elephant and Castle tonight and we’re bloody excited! It may not be Miami, but there’s going to be more tunes than a doctor’s waiting room during a man flu outbreak! Coronet here we come! Keep an eye out for us getting down to Justice, Boys Noize, Bloody Beetroots…

Happy new year!

NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS news

That’s totally like me shouting the word “News” in a cave. Nick Cave. Ouch.

Luminescence

The EP is in the big bad world, so you can stop reading all about how it’s almost finished. Ha! It’s available from more places than I even know, I keep finding new ones. Some of those include Amazon, iTunes, Indiestore, Amie Street and a bunch of others like Napster and Myspace Music and Rhapsody too. If that’s not enough for you then I HATE YOU. If it is then we can still be friends. Those who like their music physically can buy the CD too. It’s well class and has a bunch of thank yous in the liner notes to the people who’ve helped us along the way. If your name is on that list, you can OFFISHULLEE ask for a hug next time you see one of us and not only receive it, but it can last as long as YOU want it to. Amazing. You have to instigate the end of the hug otherwise, we’ll just live our lives like conjoined twins. Sexy conjoined twins. How niche!

Totally Enormous Gig On Saturday @ 93 Feet East

We are so collectively excited about Saturdays gig supporting Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs that we smear ourselves with baby oil hourly in order to distract us from the impending joy. Smooth. It’s gonna be so good, that we thought we’d get some quotes from famous people because you bloodsuckers love celebrities, dunnewe?

Graham Gooch: “Awes”.

Charlie Brooker: “Wick”.

Flavaadit Gambatron: “You don’t even know who I am”.

Get your tickets for cheaperer here at wegottickets.com else you run the risk of not getting in and looking like a total fool. No hug for you. We advise males to turn up topless and buy one of our t-shirts when they arrive so they can look better than their friends. We would advise this to both genders but we made a mistake and didn’t get any female t-shirts printed. Our bad. We will soon though, yeah?

People writing things about us

I could rewrite all the nice things we’ve had written about us lately here, but I’m not a man that believes in effort duplication. Also, my love has got no money, he’s got his strong beliefs. It’s all on our website at http://www.neonhighwire.com alongside incredible insights into popular culture from everyone but Jim. Not that Jim’s taking some sort of rebellious stance against posting anything up there, it’s just Jim. Jim Jim Jim. Jimmer. Jim.

Top ten albums of the last decade

Those who can’t get enough of lists may have noticed our top ten albums of the decade lists on the website in the run up to NYE. As usual, Steve’s is best. Aaaaah, where’s your comeback now Jim? Exactly, it’s physically impossible for you to come back because I’m typing this on a keyboard. WIN!

Read Jimlist here.

Read Lukelist here.

Read Stevelist (am best) here.

You know your favourite part of the email is the list of upcoming shows, don’t even try to deny it:

Saturday 16th January 2010

THE PLAYGROUND (Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs, Nova, Citadels, Dan Mckie, Andy Boph, Neon Highwire, Fish Don’t Dance DJs, Marc Ustari, Miss Miranda- Burlesque, Adam Analogue, 3 Sh!t DJs & Straightola)

93 Feet East, 150 Brick Lane, London, E1 6QL

Tickets; Facebook; Last.FM

Friday 12th February 2010

No Fiction (Raven Beats Crow & Neon Highwire)

Power’s Acoustic Room, 332 Kilburn High Road, Kilburn, London, NW6 2QN

Facebook; Last.FM

Wednesday 17th March 2010

Glasswerk (Artefacts For Space Travel & Neon Highwire & TBC)

93 Feet East, 150 Brick Lane, London, E1 6QL

Facebook; Last.FM

Friday 16th April 2010

Glasswerk (Neon Highwire & TBC)

Rhythm Factory, Ground Floor, 16-18 Whitechapel Road, London, E1 1EW

Facebook; Last.FM

I can’t believe no-one saw us,

Steve.

http://www.neonhighwire.com

http://www.myspace.com/neonhighwire

http://www.facebook.com/neonhighwire

http://twitter.com/neonhighwire

http://last.fm/music/neon+highwire

It’s been a motherfreaking long wait, but Luminescence is at the printers RIGHT NOW.  We’ve finalised the artwork, and they’ve declared it officially ready to roll.  Should be in the shops very, very, very soon!  Pre-order your copy on amazon here and who knows – we may even make a follow-up

I can’t actually feel my feet. Not because i’m so “cool and off my tits on heroin” like Pete Cockerty, or because I’ve been hiking to mars for chArity like Ben Fogle, but because I’m in MY OWN HOUSE. This is not good.
I demand that Robert Kilroy Silk does something about this immediately or take his own life: I need some sunshine one way or another.