We will be sorting out both the bear and the bus stop (and filming), but what we need from you is the visually weird and wonderful. Essentially, anything that doesn’t involve bears, bus stops or general bus stop attire is what we’re …looking for and we need as many people as possible to help out. Be who you want to be, do what you want to do, just do it on Saturday 25th September in London in front of a camera.

Bit vague, right? Well yes, intentionally so! To give you some ideas of the some examples that come to mind, we’re talking:

Dressing up as pirates and swordfighting.
A game of chess on a portable fold out table.
Look good in a tux? Strut!
Aerobics
Eating a cake with your bare (not bear) hands

As a thank you to all those who take part, there will be a thing afterwards with free beer, and everyone loves free beer, even bears.

Come along! Bring your friends! Jebus!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=104258616302307

None of that matters, whichever is true, you’re reading this, so I win by default.

Here’s what you should do.  Got a Twitter account?  Follow us.  Got a Facebook account?  Become a fan.  Got a Myspace Page?  Be our friend.  Got an email address?  Join our mailing list.

Got other friends with decent taste in music?  Improve their lives, tell them about us.  Think you’re wasting your life watching shitty TV or spending way too much time at the same pub with the same person / people?  Come watch us live.  Think your remixing skills are laudable?  Email us.  Any other ideas of projects relating to the band?  Let us know, we’ll talk it over.

Of course, alternatively you could do none of these things.  If you do though, you get +10 life points for each.  Just imagine!

Oh yeah, and don’t forget to listen to our new track Bear At The Bus Stop on Soundcloud.  It’ll raise the temperature of your metaphorical testicles.

Anyway, winner of this plays The Camden Crawl.  I went once, didn’t enjoy it.  Maybe I’d like it more if I was the other side of the stage.  So…

Vote for us as best live act by clicking below

Vote for us as best new band by clicking below

CLICK HERE BERNARD

Speaking of Ted Leo, an early Xmas present arrived yesterday when I found out that he’s playing in Brixton in less than two weeks time.  I bought myself a ticket without hesitation before checking out the further details on The Windmill Brixton‘s website.  Surprisingly, there wasn’t much fanfare about Mr Leo playing the little friendly venue where I’ve had the pleasure to see Clem Snide, The Rumble Strips and Cymbals Eat Guitars amongst others, merely the words “Solo show from the mighty leader of The Pharmacists” and little more.  A scan a couple of lines down the page though and I saw something which sent adrenaline through my body and also let a little wee out.  “*Ted Leo *Gold Future Joy Machine *tbc”.  TBC?  Wait a second.  I’m in a band.  I live in Brixton.  Ted motherfucking Leo?  Before I could stop myself, I began constructing a lengthy email pleading with the venue to allow Neon Highwire to be that TBC.  Sure we sound very little alike, but a brief listen to Gold Future Joy Machine revealed that neither do they (if anything, they sound more like us).  Call it pathetic, call it wishful thinking, call it whatever you want but nothing you could call it stopped me writing to them.  I wish I could say this is the first time I’d done something like this, but I confess that a similar email to Club Fandango about a year ago regarding the incredible Future Of The Left that remained heart-breakingly unanswered (though I had a good time regardless).

I recall the effect Hearts Of Oak had when I was stuck in a rut living in Bridgend working a dead-end job.  When Ted announced a UK tour, I travelled up to London on two consecutive weekends to catch the shows.  It cost more money than I really should have spent, but for Ted Leo, it was worth it.  It was enough to snap me out of my haze and move to London to stay on my brothers floor, regardless of whether I had a job or not.  It was one of the best decisions I made.

With less than two weeks to go, and despite the fact that we’re in dire need of a break following intense recording, writing, gigging and mixing (not to mention our tragic jobs) lately, this wouldn’t just be the greatest Xmas present I’d ever receive.  This would render 2010 a moot point.  What is a boy to do?

In the slightly bastardised words of Steve Albini “Tim Perry, can ya hear me now?”

(a) Luke Fussell has never killed a man.

(b) We were the first band EVER to play on stage with an unopened tin of sild in a bag named “Chastity”.

(c) Sometimes it hurts to pee.

(d) Combined, they have enough hair to fill thirty seven full sized pillows.

(e) James Dippie is not featured in the computer game “Prince Of Persia”.

(f) Prince actually quite likes their music, though has yet to hear it.

(g) http://bit.ly/neonabout

(h) None of them voted in the last US election.

(i) THERE IS NO I

(j) Jackie Joyner-Kersee once saw a photo of them stencilled onto the side of an old tramp and commented “That guy smells of wee”.

(k) Steven Morgan believes the film Logan’s Run to be a sooth-saying documentary.

(l) Each band member is well known for having their own teeths.

(m) They are strong advocates of roundabouts as a successful traffic easing system, but believe Swindon took things too far.

(n) They have featured in the magazines OK and Hello, but under the name “Victoria Beckham”.

(o) Ooooh darlin’, please believe me, I will never let you go.

(p) The band have no association with Scientology.

(q) Luke Fussell can pronounce the t in the word “planetarium”.

(r) James Dippie once featured in the background of a Peruvian commercial for apple sauce dressed as Courtney Love.

(s) Susan Boyle is rumoured to guest on the début album.

(t) Their début album will not be called “Hammers”.

(u, v, w, y & x) They have never been romantically linked to N-Sync

(z) THE EYES!  THE EYES!  THEY HAVE NO SOULS!

Get inspired!  Neon Highwire FTW!

Click here to vote: http://bit.ly/neonaire

It may save your life.