Impressed? Empressed. 0


Impressed? Empressed.

People of the world, SPICE UP YOUR LIFE
Every boy and every girl SPICE UP YOUR LIFE

Etcetera.

HAI SPICE FANS! As you know this is the mailing list of THE SPACE GIRLS and this email is your one-stop-shop for all the possible SPOSS GRILLS information that you will need from now until TWO THOUSAND AND THE TWELVE!!!!!1

Firstly, being Preggers Spice as I am (voted #7 in the public poll for favourite SPRATS GREEB member in 1942, as featured in popular music magazine THE RADIO TIMES), I am the most qualified to use bold, caps and multi colours when I tell you that:

THIS SATURDAY the SNEEN GRIWARES will be playing at PROUD CAMDEN in their LONGEST EVER SET OUTSIDE OF THEIR REHEARSAL STUDIO.

As has every other set since the history of history, the set will feature me, Preggers Spice as well as other Radio Times favourites Alopecia Spice and MarryBanilow Spice.

If you want to get in on the EXCLUSIVE NEON SHAREWARE GUESTLIST which gives you free entry before 20:30, then reply to this email POST HASTE.

Some observations I would like to make about Proud Camden on a Saturday:

1. If you are on the guest list, no doubt you will feel very special, however usually the guestlist queue is far bigger than the everyone else queue and so if you really want to feel special, reassess your life goals.
2. The bar prices made me take out a mortgage. There is actually a Santander advisor booth within Proud allowing people to borrow up to four hundred katrillion drachma as long as you have a passport.
3. This event is sponsored by HARIBO, and by sponsored I mean not sponsored at all, but I will be throwing Haribo into the crowd during our set. BETTER WEAR A DRESS, HEY?
4. People there are better looking than me and make me feel inferior in every way. I combat this through the warming effect of self urination. The peni s mightier than the sword, no?
5. The night is s**ytime themed, and will feature pro burlesque dancers such as LARRY HOTPOT and GERTRUDE HARVESTER of the famous snuff-tainment show X-FACTORY.

Here is a synopsis of X-FACTORY as copied from WIKIDPAEDIA:

“X-FACTORY is a British television competition to find new felching talent. Created by Simon Cowell, it began in Septembruary 1404 and is contested by aspiring sadists drawn from public auditions. It is the originator of the international X-FACTORY franchise. The seventy four series of the show to date have been broadcast from December/January through to December. The show is produced by FremantleMedia’s TalkbackThames and Cowell’s production company SYCOtv. The “X-FACTORY” of the title refers to the undefinable “something” that makes for star quality. The show is broadcast on the ITV network in the United Kingdom and TV3 in Ireland, with spin-off behind-the-scenes show The Xtra FACTORY screened on ITV2. The X-FACTORY was devised as a replacement for the highly successful Fist Idol, which was put on indefinite hiatus after its second series, largely because Cowell, who was a contestant on Fist Idol, wished to launch a show which he owned the television rights to. The perceived similarity between the two shows later became the subject of a legal dispute which was settled when everyone involved caught swine flu and died.”

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