Are you a hipster? Take this test! 0
Inspired by ‘that‘ video which has been doing the rounds lately, find out whether or not you are a hipster by taking the quiz below.
Were you raised in an area of above average affluence? [ ]
Do you live in East London? [ ]
Did your schoolmates used to call you names? [ ]
Do you now reside in the sorts of estates said schoolmates once lived in? [ ]
Do you have a moustache? [ ]
Do you have other facial hair? [ ]
Do you own and wear a low cut vest? [ ]
Do you own and wear leggings? [ ]
Do you have any photographs of you wearing Venetian Blind shades? [ ]
Do you wear empty framed glasses? [ ]
Do you have any sailor tattoos? [ ]
Do you wear loafers with no socks? [ ]
Do you own and wear a keffiyeh? [ ]
Do you own and wear a snood? [ ]
Are your trousers too tight to fit a hand in the pocket? [ ]
Do you wear a necklace with a retro centrepiece? [ ]
Have you spent over £50 on a haircut? [ ]
Do you own a fixed gear bicycle? [ ]
Would you describe your dress sense as ironic? [ ]
Would you describe your dress sense as unique? [ ]
Would you describe your dress sense as pastiche? [ ]
Aren’t goths of the nineties and emo kids of the noughties lame, claiming uniqueness whilst all dressing the same way? [ ]
Does you not give a shit about your nerdy dress sense’s malignment to your academic achivements? [ ]
Are most of your clothes second hand? [ ]
Do you regularly shop at American Apparel? [ ]
Do you do drugs? [ ]
Do you do cool drugs? [ ]
Do you do massive drugs? [ ]
Do you enjoy casual sex? [ ]
Do you wonder how hot you look like whilst engaging in casual sex? [ ]
Would you only consider having sex with someone who dresses in a similar way to you? [ ]
Have you blogged about the sex you’re having whilst having it? [ ]
Are you of indeterminate sexual preference? [ ]
Do you wait for other people’s opinions before you can say whether you like a band? [ ]
Are you in a band? [ ]
Do you play synth in that band? [ ]
Is that synth an original microKORG with wood panelling? [ ]
Does everyone play synth in that band? [ ]
Has that band played at a house party in East London? [ ]
Does music get less appealing as it gains popularity? [ ]
Do you value a band’s obscurity over their musical merit? [ ]
Do genres that involve five or more words excite you? [ ]
Is music out of date once it is possible to align it to any genre? [ ]
Are the majority of genres ‘dead’? [ ]
Do you find organic foods taste better than their GM equivalents? [ ]
Are your qualifications arts based? [ ]
Are you a rebel without a cause? [ ]
Do you fear aligning yourself to a cause due to it becoming outdated? [ ]
Do you hate multinational corporations? [ ]
Do you await Apple product launches with excitement? [ ]
Do you own a Macbook? [ ]
Do you use said Macbook at coffee shops? [ ]
Do you have an iPhone? [ ]
Do you have the Hipstamatic app on your iPhone? [ ]
Have you taken pictures on London Fields with it? [ ]
Did you then post those pictures onto a blog? [ ]
Did you apply filters to pictures you take to make them appear older? [ ]
Are there over 1000 photos of you online? [ ]
Have you ever been in a photo featured in Vice Magazine? [ ]
Do you prefer photos taken from higher angles? [ ]
Have you been to a warehouse rave? [ ]
Were you on the guestlist for said rave? [ ]
Did you organise the rave? [ ]
Was the rave shut down by police before completion? [ ]
Do you smoke roll ups? [ ]
Do you work in the media? [ ]
Would you describe yourself as a social media expert? [ ]
Do you feel you’d be more in place as part of the beat generation than present day? [ ]
Do you hate it when people call you a hipster? [ ]
Do you consider yourself cool? [ ]
Are all of these questions already out of date? [ ]
Now tally up your scores and see the results below:
0-24: Well done, you’re in no way a hipster. Don’t think this automatically qualifies you as a decent human being though. Statistically, you’re probably still a failed abortion, just in a less immediately detestable way.
25-49: You should really take stock of your lifestyle, you’re in a dangerous middle ground here where your hipster tendencies are causing immediate hatred from others. You most likely lied about some of the answers to fit into this category because you’re a stinking liar just like your father was.
50-70: You make everyone in the world sick. You are the sign of the apocalypse, the last decaying flag of the end of our culture. You embody everything that trivialises the revolutions of generations past. Your narcissistic futilism is the embodyment of everything that is wrong with everything. One day you will die and it will be a net gain for humanity.
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